One more rant. 

There is a certain word in the English language that I desperately wish did not exist. I keep hearing it more and more each day, and I hear it most frequently employed in the vocabularies of those who labor under the sad impression that more syllables = more intelligence. That is not true. Operating under this delusion is not a good idea. It is a SHITTY idea. 

The word? “Utilize.” Mother. Fucking. “Utilize.” 

I hear so many people using it now; quite frequently making its awkward, clumsy tumble off the tongue of students my age and those of professors who are fucking old enough to know how to use its shitty multisyllabic self. 

Why does this piss me off? It wouldn’t, except

  1. Almost everyone uses the word incorrectly 
  2. It is incredibly obvious that they just replaced the word “use” with “utilize” in the hopes of sounding smarter than they are
  3. But this never works, because they end up sounding like pretentious assholes, and this image is worsened by the fact that they don’t even know what the word means
  4. "Use" is fine. "Use" is great. Why fatten up and complicate what could have been a normal, non-pretentious-asshole sentence by taking a word and tacking 2 more syllables onto it? 

Ok, now on to the next part of my explanation. 

"Utilize" is NOT a synonym for the word, "use."

They have separate meanings. 

As explained in the Oxford English Motherfucking Dictionary,

"Use" and "utilize" are two verbs with distinct meanings. Don’t confuse them.

"Use" is to employ objects for the purposes they were designed for.

"Utilize," on the other hand, is to employ objects for unintended purposes.

In conclusion, do not misuse words in a sad, trying-too-hard-ooh-look-how-smart-I-am-I’m-a-monkey-with-Microsoft-Word-thesaurus attempt to sound more intelligent than you are.

You sound like a pompous ass. 

Unless using “utilize” CORRECTLY, use “use.”

I’m going to let Inigo Montoya play me out. 


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  1. aquaticcosmos posted this
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